Archive for the ‘bad hockey players’ Category


Bring Back Jeremy!

July 7, 2008

TVO must revive its greatest children’s show ever!

Sure some people like The Polka Dot Door, Today’s Special, or Cucumber, all locally produced fare, but the greatest show in the early days of TVOntario featured the adventures of Jeremy, a peripatetic singing bear. Who cannot remember his enchanting song “I’m a bear called Jeremy, I can do most anything, I can dance and I can sing”? Well, today’s kids, that’s who!

I’m a bear called forgotten

Enjoy Jeremy’s legendary song courtesy of You Tube:


NHL Advertising Campaign Explained

May 2, 2008

“The Cup Changes Everything” =

The Regular Season Means Nothing

At the moment I’m in Europe and enjoying (as much as a Toronto Maple Leaf fan can) the opportunity to watch the Stanley Cup playoffs on NASN – the North American Sports Network. With all the games featuring live feeds from Hockey Night in Canada or TSN, NASN would be the greatest channel ever if it wasn’t for the continous repetition of irritating NHL promos where various star cross-checkers and cherry pickers declare that “The Cup Changes Everything.”

Why didn’t you play this hard all season?

What this really means is that the have teams of the league coasted through the entire regular season complacent in the knowledge that the have-nots (such as the Toronto Maple Leafs, LA Kings, and Tampa Bay Whatchamacallits) were already booking April golf holidays. 82 regular season games per team, in the far west and deep south of the US, to arrive at a foregone conclusion. Pfui.

Now I understand all those old guys who used to complain that they got bored of hockey after the 1967 expansion. It’s hard caring about any matches involving the Columbus Blue Jackets, Phoenix Coyotes, or Walla Walla Wild at any time, let alone during a pointless game towards the end of a pointless season. At least the California Golden Seals had novelty value – now stupid teams in sundrenched places with style-deficient uniforms are a dime a dozen.

Long live the CFL!


Mystery Virus Memories

April 15, 2008

A tribute to intermittent 80s Leaf icon Tom Fergus

auto He always had time for autographs

When we think about the great Ballard teams of the mid 80s, filled with personalities like Borje Salming, Dan Daoust, Dave Semenko, and of course the legendary Bill Root, one player stands out for his place in the hearts of Toronto Maple Leaf fans: Tom Fergus. Cursed in 1987 by the unknown malady that soon became known to everyone in Canada as “the mystery virus”, Tom became firmly ensconced in the nation’s hearts just like a sick brother or decrepit grandfather.

At the end of every match the beLeafers standing outside the Gardens would wait for the hockey invalid to limp out of the stands, where he was forced to watch his more physically sound teammates, and try to encourage Tom in the best way they could. Some inquired after his health: “How the ol’ mystery virus going there, eh Tom?” Others sought to cheer him up by recalling past feats of greatness: “That was a good goal you scored last season!”

Though he would go on to recover from the virus, the pile of Fergus sicknotes continued to fill Maple Leaf Gardens as he missed much of the 1989-90 season and almost the entire 1990-91 campaign with a chronic groin injury.

Hockey is a tough business and such a sincere outpouring of emotion and faith could not last forever. Without a thought for all of his important contributions to the team, like holding the bus door open on road trips and signing autographs for young fans who confused him with Gary Leeman, the ruthlessly efficient Leaf organization ended his illustrious time in Toronto by placing him on waivers in 1991.

He went on to finish his career with Zug of Switzerland, a neutral nation known for the quality of its health care.