Posts Tagged ‘toronto argonauts’


Sorry Mike, Bart is the worst CFL coach ever

November 8, 2009

Bart Andrus makes Mike Kelly look like a football genius over the course of a long season

Mike Kelly tried hard this season. Every dubious personnel decision (Stefan Lefors as a starting QB??!), every media rant, every spy scandal, and every early season loss of the Winnipeg Blue-Bombers made him look like the inevitable heir to the title. Yes, Mike you could have won the coveted Dave Beckman Award for the worst CFL coach ever.

Unfortunately, even if Mike is not necessarily sly as a fox, he was smart enough to change things around when it became clear his grand scheme was not working. He pulled the plug on the Lefors debacle. He brought in an occasionally competent CFL quarterback like Michael Bishop. He delegated some offensive responsibilities, including play-calling. The sudden improvement in the Blue-Bombers towards the final weeks of the season demonstrates that he put the team before his ego.

I’d like to thank the academy…

Bart Andrus did none of this. He let the Toronto Argonauts sink deeper and deeper into the mire, claiming that mediocrity could be seen at the end of the tunnel – if only he was allowed to carry through his 5 year plan.

Like Mike Kelly, he dispensed with an offensive co-ordinator. Unlike Mike, he stayed in place even as three quarterbacks and 659 receivers failed to demonstrate any vague resemblance of competence.

Bart preached discipline, expelling star players who didn’t live up to his celestial vision. Bart’s team then went on to lead the CFL in penalties.

The Argos’ season ended with a whimper as the Montreal Alouettes crushed Toronto 42-17. As of writing, the Blue-Bombers still have to beat or tie Hamilton to get in the playoffs but at least nobody has made a complete fool of themselves in Winnipeg (except maybe the coach on the radio).

Bart did make one team better this year – the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. Thanks for trading us Arland Bruce III, Bart, we’ll send a card to your forwarding address!


Arland Bruce 3 Argos 0

September 8, 2009

Count Chocula’s team hasn’t won since Bruce booted out

Bart Andrus is still smiling, the Argos are still losing

Please ignore my previous post about Arland Bruce. I couldn’t stand the guy when he played for Toronto, but now that he’s in Hamilton I think he’s great. Not just because of his catches and his professionalism but because the double-blue scum haven’t won since Bart Andrus decided the Argos could do without the all-star receiver.

Last night, in the Argos’ fifth straight loss, the Ticats won the Labour Day Classic 34-15 and Bruce caught six passes for 115 yards. We didn’t get a groovy touchdown celebration but everything else went right for the exile and his new team.

As Bruce said after the victory, “I think that was probably the worst decision in football that’s ever been made”.

Now Bart and his bunch of superior professionals have to get ready for the rematch on Friday. The Bartman has to look at himself in the mirror. You are at the absolute bottom when Mike Kelly is a more successful CFL head coach than you.


Arland Bruce 3, Professionalism 0

July 24, 2009


Argo teammates mourn the end of Bruces CFL career

Argo teammates mourn the end of Bruce's CFL career

It looks like Arland “Preparation H” Bruce III’s days with the Toronto Argonauts are numbered. After his exploits in the end zone this season, most notable for his so-called tribute to Michael Jackson, the self-indisciplined receiver decided to attack his QB and new head coach in the press. Argo boss Bart “the vampire” Andrus provoked the outbust by leaving Bruce out of the lineup for the forthcoming clash of the CFL East titans in Winnipeg because of recent behaviour that called into question the player’s professionalism.

At least the Argos have something to distract the fans from their on-field incompetence.

Enjoy the professionalism of Arland Bruce:


Not going down with the double-blue ship

July 10, 2008

Argos put Michael Bishop on Waivers

The news media is reporting this morning that Michael Bishop is on his way out of Toronto, leaving Kerry Joseph as the undisputed starter. Must have been some problems in the locker room. Looks like two quarterbacks are worse than one, eh? (At this point someone will point out – again – that Mike was once ahead of Tom Brady on the New England Patriots depth chart…).